逍遥学能 2015-02-02 21:11
◆Phys. teacher: “What is usua- lly used as a conductor of electricity?”Student: “Why-er... “Phys. teacher: “Correct, wire. And now tell me the unit of electrical power.” Student: “The what?”Phys. teacher: “Yes. The watt.”
◆Teacher: “What do we get from sheep?”Boy: “Wool.” Teacher: “And what do we make from wool ?”Boy: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “Well, what’s your coat made of?”Boy: “My coat was made from father’s old coat.”
◆One day a tea-cher was givinga lesson to a class of boys. She told them to write a compo-sition about the last football match. One of the boys wrote a fewwords and put down his pen. Theteacher asked him: “Why aren’t you writing?”Theboy answered: “Ihave finished.” Then the teachertook his exer-cise book and read: “Rain. No play.”
◆Teacher: “(looking through Te- ddy’s home- work): “I won- der how one person could make so many mistakes.” Teddy: “It wasn’t one person, teacher, Father helped me.”
◆An inspector ina class: “Tell me , my little friend, how much do five and one make?” (No answer. )The inspector: “Suppose I give you five ra- bbits, and then another rabbit , how many ra- bbits will you have?”A child: “Seven.” The inspector: “Seven!How do you make that out?”The child: “I have one ra- bbit at home already.” (from www.nmet168.com)
◆Stud. A: “I don’t think our tea- cher wants to remain so thin.”Stud. B: “How do you know?”Stud. A: “I met her twice in bookstores. She was buying books on die- ting and sli- mming.” Stud. B: “Has she been following the advice in the books?”Stud. A: “Well, she says since she can’t find any books telling people how to gain weight, she has to practise con- trary to what the books su- ggest for plump figures. “
◆In a history class, a teacherasked a student: “Waht happenedin 1949 in Chi-nese history?” “It is the yearof the founding of the People’sRepublic of Chi-na , ”the student replied quickly. “Yes, you’re right. Then, whathappened in 1952?”the teacher asked again. The student thought for a while and an-swered: “Well, in thatyear, the New China was three years old.”
◆On his first day in school, one small boy was being inter-viewed by the school teacher. “Father’s name?”asked the tea-cher, trying to filling in a bigform. “Same as mine. ““No, no, no, ”said the teacher.” I mean his Christian name.” “Oh, I don’t know, miss, ”said the child. “Well, what does your mother call him?” “She calls him’darling’.”
◆Teacher: “Who can tell me some- thing of im- portance that didn’t exist one hundred years ago?”Small girl: “Me!”
◆Teacher: “Jackson , which is far- ther away, Eng- land or the moon?”Jackson: “England —you can see the moon, but you can’t see England.”
◆Stud. A: “What’s the difference between elec- tricity and lightning?”Stud. B: “You must pay for elec- tricity, but you don’t have to pay for lightning.”
◆Cooking teacher: “Helen, what are the best things to put in a fruitcake ?”Helen: “Teeth!”
◆Cooking teacher: “Tom, how can we prevent food from going bad?”Tom: “By eating it, miss.”
◆Teacher: “Tommy, what was the first thing James the First did on coming to the throne?”Tommy: “He sat down, miss.”
◆“What is the plural of man?”asked the tea-cher. “Men, ”answeredMary. “And the plu-ral of child?” “Twins, ”was the unexpectedreply.
◆Tom was re-quired to hand in aphoto for his library card. He hand in a photo of his fa-ther as a boy. The teacher asked, ”who isthe boy in the picture?” “It’s my dad. Can’t you see our resemblance?”“Why don’t youhand in a pic-ture of your own?”the teacher ask-ed. “I can’t findany but this onein my drawer. Since people all say that my faceis the exact copy of my dad’s, why can’t I useit as a substi-tute?”